Friday, February 11, 2005

Too Much Time...

These are the transcripts, of one of the most interesting conversations that transpired between me, and vivek.

To completely understand, and enjoy the details, and subtleties involved, you should probably need some basics.. and here is a quick guide, into the ideas in the messed head of a poor CS student. Also, you should have read a bit of H2G2, and Assimov.

Sriram : A friend of mine, who has high aspirations, (really high that he is now, the tallest guy in college!). Sriram, being the microsoft student ambassador in my college, is now the M.$ guy..

Penguins : poor little birds, which mostly inhabit in Antarctica and southern Australia. Penguins are also, holy to any linux guy (read me), and any sort of disrespect is sacrilege.

Mac's, and Apples : Apart from being fruits, are also computers. (guess most people know that!)


C/C++/C# : these are popular computer programming languages used

GCC : A free compiler, that was used to compile most of what runs in the name of Free S/W, OpenSource, etc..

LUG : Linux Users Group. (actually ilugc)


Vivek says:

tht link u sent me, sriram told me tht has been doing rounds in the lug forum... is it so?

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah

Vivek says:

why

Fuzzy Logic says:

i donno.. sriram is an active member of lug da

Vivek says:

oh ok

Fuzzy Logic says:

and strangely he hasn't been involved in starting any major flames .. and

Fuzzy Logic says:

restricted himself from fudding, but whenever he sees me

Fuzzy Logic says:

he just goes on and on about, killing penguins!

Vivek says:

so sad

Vivek says:

pooor things

Fuzzy Logic says:

i guess he is infact obsessed with killing penguins

Vivek says:

report him to the spca

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe

Fuzzy Logic says:

just put him along with

Fuzzy Logic says:

mutant penguins da...

Fuzzy Logic says:

which understand english

Vivek says:

and are bigger than him?

Fuzzy Logic says:

no.. piranah's are smaller than most creatures that they attack

Fuzzy Logic says:

just lots and lots of mutant penguins..

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe just for the fun of it, we can give them special powers

Fuzzy Logic says:

i am thinking of something like burly brawl in matrix reloaded

Vivek says:

so lots of pengies with pirhana like teeth that talk?

Fuzzy Logic says:

1 sriram

Fuzzy Logic says:

100's of agent penguins...

Vivek says:

and sriram with a stick?

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe..

Vivek says:

btw, penguins look like they wear a suit...smith wears a suit...the resemblance is uncanny

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah..

Fuzzy Logic says:

they are just shorter

Fuzzy Logic says:

a lot shorter, considering his height

Fuzzy Logic says:

and since they are endangered creatures, i donno wether we can find 100's of them da

Vivek says:

simulate them

Vivek says:

are they endangered?

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, thats wat sriram told me..

Vivek says:

i mean, of course i have never seen one, but that is not a criterion

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe, he was probably taking into a/c the popln after his rampage

Fuzzy Logic says:

or maybe even worse...

Fuzzy Logic says:

he's already a serial penguin killer

Vivek says:

why? does he kill penguins in serials?

Vivek says:

sitcoms or soap operas?

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, sitcoms, are supposed to be funny, and i think murdering penguins wont get high TPR's (i really dontknow, what TPR is )

Fuzzy Logic says:

and soaps?

Fuzzy Logic says:

hmm... yeah wouldnt suit him da...

Vivek says:

TPR -> transport protocol reader?

Fuzzy Logic says:

hmm.. TPR-> Totally Pointless Ratings

Vivek says:

so we have decided... penguins are killed in sitcoms, irrespective of the high or low TPRs that the show may get among the other penguins

Fuzzy Logic says:

not sitcoms. serials da

Fuzzy Logic says:

sriram is a Serial Penguin Killer, not a Sitcom Penguin Killer..

Vivek says:

if he kills penguins by the portside, then will he be a serial port penguin killer

Vivek says:

and it really makes you wonder if there is a parallel port penguin killer

Fuzzy Logic says:

but what if he kills more than one penguin

Fuzzy Logic says:

what if he commits genocide of penguins

Fuzzy Logic says:

then he would be a MPP killer

Fuzzy Logic says:

Massively Parallel Penguin Killer

Vivek says:

then all the penguins will get together and decide to counterstrike

Vivek says:

that will be an unreal tournament

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah.. Doom to the penguins

Fuzzy Logic says:

if sriram wins

Fuzzy Logic says:

so, lets hope he doesnt...

Vivek says:

Mortal Kombat with a C

Vivek says:

the next version will be Mortal Kombat with a C++

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah.. then Sriram would probably coax microsoft

Fuzzy Logic says:

and will end up releasing a version

Vivek says:

called c#

Fuzzy Logic says:

of Mortal Kombat with C#

Vivek says:

Mortal C#ombat

Vivek says:

the penguins will release Mortal GCCombat

Fuzzy Logic says:

with which, one penguin, would manage to write a Free and Open Source OS.

Fuzzy Logic says:

but this time, they would choose,

Fuzzy Logic says:

their mascot as Linus Torvalds instead

Vivek says:

where linus is made to wear a Tux

Vivek says:

and a silly bowtie

Fuzzy Logic says:

and all the penguins would have tatooed 'Linus',

Fuzzy Logic says:

on their chests..

Vivek says:

of course, getting tattoos with their flipper like wings is very difficult...they say tattooing is a dying art among the penguins

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah.. with sriram around, the penguins are dying, no wonder, tatooing is even rarer among them

Vivek says:

i really wonder where they will fight.... will it be a virtual world like matrix or will the penguins have a home advantage by fighting in antarctica

Fuzzy Logic says:

hmm.. atleast, if the virtual world ran on windows, and was written in .NET, then, sometime in the middle, they would get a GPF and crash da

Fuzzy Logic says:

so, its better the virtual world runs on linux..

Vivek says:

Or a neutral Mac

Vivek says:

where neither of them will be able to enter

Fuzzy Logic says:

Mac.. that sounds interesting...

Vivek says:

Macs will lock out both of them

Fuzzy Logic says:

but it is rumoured that the latest mac, has the heart of a penguin da

Vivek says:

Shocking

Fuzzy Logic says:

an apple inside a penguin is werid enuf da, but

Vivek says:

this is a penguin inside an apple?

Vivek says:

what kind of a winter thing is that

Fuzzy Logic says:

yeah.. a penguin inside an apple

Fuzzy Logic says:

hmm.. i guess, these are easter apples (not winter), just like easter eggs, have something else inside em

Vivek says:

with big polka dots painted on them...come on, apple has better taste than that

Vivek says:

apples are sweet

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, you never know, when it has a penguin inside da..

Fuzzy Logic says:

since you have never seen one, i can safely assume you have

Fuzzy Logic says:

not tasted one either.. so..

Vivek says:

i dont really know... what does it taste like

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, must ask sriram i guess..

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe he is just harmless, and kills penguins only for entertainment, and snacks

Vivek says:

sriram doesnt eat them... he just kills them

Fuzzy Logic says:

you never know da

Vivek says:

what kind of snacks would one makje with a penguin.... frozen penguins?

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, i guess they would have penguin flippers (like chicken wings)

Fuzzy Logic says:

and,, for frozen penguins, what do you freeze it with da?

Fuzzy Logic says:

liquid nitrogen?

Vivek says:

i was going for liquid air, but

Vivek says:

yeah liquid n2 seems fine

Vivek says:

just open their beaks and pour it in

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, maybe we shouldn't give sriram ideas da.. whose side are we on?

Vivek says:

i am on all sides... i just watch the fun, clap and but popcorn

Vivek says:

that was buy popcorn

Fuzzy Logic says:

oh..

Fuzzy Logic says:

and probably put a blog post about the greatest fight involving

Fuzzy Logic says:

penguins, and sriram

Vivek says:

and apples with penguins and penguins with apples

Fuzzy Logic says:

easter apples.. easter penguins..

Vivek says:

speaking of easter apples and easter penguins, will easter penguins carry easter apples in a basket

Fuzzy Logic says:

maybe, the will just host the apples on appleforge

Fuzzy Logic says:

or freshfruits

Fuzzy Logic says:

etc.. da

Vivek says:

or pazhakadai?

Fuzzy Logic says:

well, you cant download apples for free from pazhakadai da.. you got to pay

Vivek says:

99cents per apple

Vivek says:

and mind u, it is called iFruit

Fuzzy Logic says:

iFruit,

Fuzzy Logic says:

thats nice, does, iRobot, use iFruits, if its hungry?

Vivek says:

and the strange thing is, what does uRobot use? uFruits?

Fuzzy Logic says:

thats one of the mysteries, i guess.

Fuzzy Logic says:

and the only answer i can give to it , for now is 42, but i really cant explain it

Vivek says:

if 42 were the answer to this question, then this would tbe the question of life universe,etc

Fuzzy Logic says:

hmm.. interesting.. but, isint the question about the life, universe and everything else

Fuzzy Logic says:

supposed to include iRobots, uRobots, and their respective food items?



Hmm.. I've got too much time on my hands ...

Till later

Signing Off,
Vishnu

3 comments:

Sriram said...

Linked from my blog . I would have been happier if you had made use of your time to actually find such a t-shirt :-)

Praveen said...

Vishnu,
Adopt a penguin as a virtual pet here --> http://bunnyherolabs.com/

Put it on ur blog!

:)

Swaroop C H said...

ROTFLMAO!

- Swaroop
www.swaroopch.info