The story so far .... Hey just scroll down for that.
Anyway, I realised that it was high time that I did something about the printouts,
so I frantically called up a dozen people that I knew (including Madonna,
kirsten dunst, and all the other celebrities that you can never really check
up with :-)) to help, and it was of no avail. There I was, as it slowly dawned on
me that I had no choice. It was me and the keyboard, nothing else. So, that's exactly
what I did, a couple of hours of relentless typing (and spilling countless eatables
on my keyboard). I had the documents ready. Relief. Finally!.
Well, and I switch on my printer, which started up with a lazy, and rather unpleasant moan.
It must have been easy from here, put in the paper and click print right! That would have
been true for anyone else, but my printer has been affected by the BHRH (Black Hole, Right Here)
syndrome, where the paper in the tray goes in, but mysteriously never comes back. Shucks! (The guy
in the other dimension must have been getting all my precious printouts). Hours of cajoling,
dint seem to help. And with no other alternative in sight, I had to go to a nearby DTP center,
and for the uninitiated, a DTP center is place where they take your data and charge obscene
amounts money for getting it printed, no wonder they are named DTP (Drives you To Poverty).
After navigating an abysmal sea of traffic, I finally managed to reach a DTP center,
so aptly named **** (Hey, I am not giving out the name here, if you are that smart,
just figure out the allusion!). The place was deserted, with a lone attendant in
front of a billing machine, and at the other end, a solo computer operator. The perfect
place where people get murdered in Tamil movies(apart from the hero obviously!). I
approached the computer operator,and reluctantly handed over the floppy disk. He
was quick with using it and loaded up the documents, and let me check them.
Well, all I did was give a nod of approval, to which the operator instantaneously
clicked print. The printouts were supposed to be on special sheets embellished with logo's of
my institution. But, with the sheets safely stowed away in my bag, what was it printing on??
The answer came to me in the form of a printed bill. Rs 80, for printouts that I dint need, and
more to go for the printouts that I actually needed!. I gave him my assignment sheets, and asked
him to take a printout, hoping, he would realize his mistake and waiver of the original prints!
He promptly took my sheet, and went inside and .. SKreech! Crash! Bang!... Paper JAM!!!.
Twenty minutes and after a long senseless argument, I was offered the ultimatum,
'Pay for the Printouts, and Forget your assignment sheets', What a rip off!!, I handed over
the money, and walked out of the place, vowing never to set foot, at that place ever again.
Oh..., I just forgot I left my bag there, shit, I hate breaking my own vows. I still had a record
to go, and the time was already 7pm, 5 hrs, to go to the end of the deadline.
After searching for other DTP centers, everywhere including the telephone directory, yellow
pages, pages of FreeAds, the Holy Bible, The Torah, etc..., I finally found another place
which just suit my requirements just right, only that it was 12 km's from my place. Hoping
that my petrol was sufficient in my scooterette, I raced to that place, and finally managed
to get my printouts, and also get it spiral bound there. The time 11:30 pm, Mission Complete!
Well, this post is dragging a bit, and I am really exhausted! So, until later.......
Anyway, I realised that it was high time that I did something about the printouts,
so I frantically called up a dozen people that I knew (including Madonna,
kirsten dunst, and all the other celebrities that you can never really check
up with :-)) to help, and it was of no avail. There I was, as it slowly dawned on
me that I had no choice. It was me and the keyboard, nothing else. So, that's exactly
what I did, a couple of hours of relentless typing (and spilling countless eatables
on my keyboard). I had the documents ready. Relief. Finally!.
Well, and I switch on my printer, which started up with a lazy, and rather unpleasant moan.
It must have been easy from here, put in the paper and click print right! That would have
been true for anyone else, but my printer has been affected by the BHRH (Black Hole, Right Here)
syndrome, where the paper in the tray goes in, but mysteriously never comes back. Shucks! (The guy
in the other dimension must have been getting all my precious printouts). Hours of cajoling,
dint seem to help. And with no other alternative in sight, I had to go to a nearby DTP center,
and for the uninitiated, a DTP center is place where they take your data and charge obscene
amounts money for getting it printed, no wonder they are named DTP (Drives you To Poverty).
After navigating an abysmal sea of traffic, I finally managed to reach a DTP center,
so aptly named **** (Hey, I am not giving out the name here, if you are that smart,
just figure out the allusion!). The place was deserted, with a lone attendant in
front of a billing machine, and at the other end, a solo computer operator. The perfect
place where people get murdered in Tamil movies(apart from the hero obviously!). I
approached the computer operator,and reluctantly handed over the floppy disk. He
was quick with using it and loaded up the documents, and let me check them.
Well, all I did was give a nod of approval, to which the operator instantaneously
clicked print. The printouts were supposed to be on special sheets embellished with logo's of
my institution. But, with the sheets safely stowed away in my bag, what was it printing on??
The answer came to me in the form of a printed bill. Rs 80, for printouts that I dint need, and
more to go for the printouts that I actually needed!. I gave him my assignment sheets, and asked
him to take a printout, hoping, he would realize his mistake and waiver of the original prints!
He promptly took my sheet, and went inside and .. SKreech! Crash! Bang!... Paper JAM!!!.
Twenty minutes and after a long senseless argument, I was offered the ultimatum,
'Pay for the Printouts, and Forget your assignment sheets', What a rip off!!, I handed over
the money, and walked out of the place, vowing never to set foot, at that place ever again.
Oh..., I just forgot I left my bag there, shit, I hate breaking my own vows. I still had a record
to go, and the time was already 7pm, 5 hrs, to go to the end of the deadline.
After searching for other DTP centers, everywhere including the telephone directory, yellow
pages, pages of FreeAds, the Holy Bible, The Torah, etc..., I finally found another place
which just suit my requirements just right, only that it was 12 km's from my place. Hoping
that my petrol was sufficient in my scooterette, I raced to that place, and finally managed
to get my printouts, and also get it spiral bound there. The time 11:30 pm, Mission Complete!
Well, this post is dragging a bit, and I am really exhausted! So, until later.......
9 comments:
vishnu...
buddy..u should write screenplay da...u're descriptions are quite vivid...i can almost see u trying to pull out u're hair... did u?? lol...
and what's this about madonna and kirsten...i introduce u to them once and u act as though they are YOUR bestfriends...kirsten called to tell me she does'nt appreciate the level of familiarity with which u allude to her..ha ha vishnu...u wish da...btw..i did'nt knw u were a madonna fan..
btw..also love the way u avoided falling into the trap of showing u're readers u don't knw what DTP really stands for..lol..very clever..and funny even..yay!
oh and congratulations...our brave , fair knight has accomplished his quest..SIR VISHNU AND THE QUEST FOR HIGH QUALITY(or not..) PRINTOUTS...lol..
btw..which fair lady was it at the behest of?? in days long gone...knights would take on perilous quests to prove their bravery and chivalry..ofcourse these days the aforementioned qualities don't exist..lol..nevertheless..Sir Vishnu..being the romantic soul that u are..along with the fact that a 'fair' maiden exists somewhere in the picture..lol..oh well who knows what the future holds..
ok i better stop lest my comments get longer than u're blog..lol..have fun da..write often..it gets easier..experiment a lot with style and stuff..don't just stick to this conversational style..although it might be fun and entertaining...ie if u are serious about improving your writing skills..anyway talk to u later..take care
sneha
vishnu...
buddy..u should write screenplay da...u're descriptions are quite vivid...i can almost see u trying to pull out u're hair... did u?? lol...
and what's this about madonna and kirsten...i introduce u to them once and u act as though they are YOUR bestfriends...kirsten called to tell me she does'nt appreciate the level of familiarity with which u allude to her..ha ha vishnu...u wish da...btw..i did'nt knw u were a madonna fan..
btw..also love the way u avoided falling into the trap of showing u're readers u don't knw what DTP really stands for..lol..very clever..and funny even..yay!
oh and congratulations...our brave , fair knight has accomplished his quest..SIR VISHNU AND THE QUEST FOR HIGH QUALITY(or not..) PRINTOUTS...lol..
btw..which fair lady was it at the behest of?? in days long gone...knights would take on perilous quests to prove their bravery and chivalry..ofcourse these days the aforementioned qualities don't exist..lol..nevertheless..Sir Vishnu..being the romantic soul that u are..along with the fact that a 'fair' maiden exists somewhere in the picture..lol..oh well who knows what the future holds..
ok i better stop lest my comments get longer than u're blog..lol..have fun da..write often..it gets easier..experiment a lot with style and stuff..don't just stick to this conversational style..although it might be fun and entertaining...ie if u are serious about improving your writing skills..anyway talk to u later..take care
sneha
Thank you, Thank you ....
Do I hear loud cheers, excited female fans..., lol...
Sir Vishnu, humbly bows to all your comments!, and btw, Me in a movie!!!!!!! ha ha ha!, thats a good one... lol!
Lazy, lazy ,lazy guy, you are! You are forced to work just once per semester, on the other days you have no connection with college at all. Just one day and what do you do? You make a big fuss about it and write a funny screenplay about it.
And I checked up with Kirsten, she said she doesn't know anyone who answers to your name.
Get away from the computer and look around at the world. Its 2004. I have no idea how to end this comment. I guess I can't just drag this on forever. But I can't just end midsentence, can I? So let me
No, wonder!!!, Well, thats what she was lamenting about, during our dinner last night, about misc prank callers!
vishnu...po da..dinner with kirsten it seems...lol...and smart girls...even pretty ones...
(and we know those two are pretty much mutually exclusice..lol..what kind of a feminist am i??)
please LOOK OUT...don't get suckered into any dubious 'projects' with vishnu...Sir or otherwise...lol...
and i agree with vivek..one day in a sem u have to do work...and u might have gotten away without doing even that ..so don't complain...(look..the pot is telling the kettle..lol) anyway vishnu...oops my bad...Sir Vishnu...give me a call...and oh almost forgot...kirsten said to say..."u wish..." ..lol.. later buddy...
best
best
best
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